Have you ever stood in the middle of a flash flood thunderstorm on a steamy August afternoon with heat so thick that it's heavy...with hazy steam and bright....sun shining around huge fat black billowing clouds so stuffed you know they have dimension but it's greater than you can visage? Have you thought I want to get closer that kind of power, the building, pounding, rolling, swelling blackness violating any space that it encounters as it becomes increasingly loud, belligerent-obnoxious in its own self indulgence as it seems to swallow whole sunlight?
Yeah, me too!
Somehow I managed to be on top of the highest point in our county in just that type of storm about a month ago...No. I didn't do it on purpose, but then, I would have:). Nearly three inches of rain in an hour. I HAD to take a walk in the woods. I HAVE to do that sometimes....the walking, not normally the walk up to death and kick him in the ass to see if he's awake thing I did that afternoon....What an idiot!!
Life has humbled me some. In fact, the Lord has used this whipping stick called life to humble me a lot...and that's good... cuz I needz it! It started thundering when I got out of the truck and I was thinking about the verse that talks about the folly of looking at the weather and not planting a crop out of fear or uncertainty. I was thinking LIKE A MAN!! It ain't gonna rain! I NEED a freaking walk in the woods. I am gonna walk in the dang woods tuh-day! Don't give a flyin'.....well I just didn't care if rained and thundered and lightnined(yeah, I said lightnined) a lil'. I'm a GROWN man. I know lightning is dangerous, but so am I...if I don't get a little walk in the woods occasionally. Crap!!!! I can't believe it's thunderin' so bad....as I am walking off into the woods....at the highest point in my county.....
Well,....lets just say it was an experience I'll not soon forget. Afterwards, people talking about weather alerts going off and watching the radar go green, yellow, big yellow, red, big red, lots of little the little cute white lighting strikes on the screen. Well,.....lemme jus tell ya.....it ain't cute on the highest dang point in my county. I have literally ridden 12-16 foot swells in a 21' boat 20 miles from the nearest spot to build a sandcastle in the Gulf of Mexico; watched at least tennis/baseball size hail fall 3 feet away from me; watched a funnel cloud come out of a wall cloud literally on top of me, but I have never....never been that close to the real power of a storm. Close enough to feel open oven- door hot wind blow down from the south and then late fall cool air blow in from the east, and then moderate dry air blow from the west, and then do it all over again in another 5 minutes, all the while the land I am standing on go from dust to flowing current in less than 20 minutes, while boots fill with water flowing through clothes and down body, and thunder like your heads in a base drum with a Wildman flailing away and some smart-ass shooting Howitzer-like flashes of search-light bright intensity into your soul in rapid fire succession....lemme jus tell ya, it was an experience....
A little light rain, then massive drops that would have drowned a small rodent, then those drops in sheets in 50-60mph wind and then...light rain...then nearly no rain, then lightning so close you knew it hit you and you never knew heaven was so wet, and massive sheets again, then a letting up, a releasing feeling in your guts and you instinctively know its over...the worst is over...but the drops, the few drops are getting bigger...and now harder and jeez! did that hit me; it was ungraspably intensely, shockingly, shakingly, violent!! And the fear freckles come back out on your saturated plucked duck skin and God laughs again and your ear drums seem to bust and the flashes are coming slick quick and next-of-kin close and dang! is this ever gonna stop and ...
THIS, THIS is making me feel very,....very,....small, and very completely out of control at this juncture of my now sorry life. The first 20 minutes were man-talk cool! Out in the storm, big-talkin' water-cooler fodder.... I can...now...NOT MOVE for fear of making a worse mistake than I made when I walked away from the relative safety of my truck and its rubber tired ability to get me AWAY from this storm. I abandoned the ark. Way to go....
I have put myself in a very dangerous situation...on freaking purpose!!! WHY DO I DO THIS KIND OF CRAP!! Lord, my kids and wife. What am I doing!?....BOOM!! WHHHAAACK!! IF TREE FALLS beside you in the woods,.... YES! YOU FREAKING HEAR IT!!
Bottom line: Sometimes the storm just comes and sometimes you walk right into it cuz yooz da MAN! Sometimes it seems like it's gonna stop and then it doubles back, re-doubles intensity and really scares the HELL out of you cuz you thought it wuz over and it's just beginning...again....
Whatcha gonna do now BIG boy!?! Big dummy! Now?....Trust Him. It's not too late. You're not the first person to make a STUPID decision, get yourself into a big storm and them get to see Jesus show up.
I didn't get out of that storm, but HE got me through it. Truth?? I needed that storm and I need the real storms. The ones that leave scars and bought lessons, and "man, I'm never gonna do that again's.". I need 'em. I'm hard-headed and I need to learn to trust Him and the Spirit. Thick and thin, lean or fat, good or....oh, yeah! IF we love Him, and are called according to His purposes...it's never bad...It's all good.
Lesson learned....some of it....I hope.....
Don't fear the storm.....fear God....seek wisdom... one foot in front of the other...keep walking....trust Him...simple to say...tough to do....totally worth it, if we are doing for the right reasons...He promises...Do not grow weary in doing good...for in due season you will reap a harvest IF you do not give up. Galations 6:8-10
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
The Widow-maker
This morning I am greatful to God and in humble surprise of His goodness to me.
As you probably know a widow-maker is generally termed, "anything dangerous to someone's life or health," i.e., when logging trees in a forest and a large limb falls near the workers the limb could be a widow-maker. Or, in medical terms a coronary artery with significant blockage can cause a massive heart attack and death. Basically, if a life or way of life is put in mortal danger by another force it, the force, could be termed a widow-maker.
I was reading in Luke this a.m. and came to Lk 21:1-4.
"And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury. And He saw a certain poor widow putting in two small copper coins. And He said, 'Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them; for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.'"
I may have seen it differently today.
I am wondering if it is more applicable to talk about the rich (most of us) as much as the poor widow.
--More applicable to talk about wealth vs. poverty. . . but not the wealth I usually think about!
--More applicable to consider surplus vs. a bare cabinet. . .but not physical surplus, not food in the larder.
So, what's the point?
When I've read about the widow,. . .
I have always thought, "Yeah, that's awesome. Lord, please let me always be willing to give my last two pennies for your service. Help me not to hold on to any possession more than I hold on to you!"
I leave that prayer feeling encouraged that I saw that possessions can be way too important and make me selfish and blind to my selfishness. EVERY physical thing I possess must be the Lord's. I don't even own my last two pennies. . .It's ALL HIS!!
Those are good thoughts. . . and true.
But, this morning Christ formed another question in my soul.
What is surplus? Is giving money from surplus money the real issue in this story? Is the story only about our physical stuff/heart to give or is it also about realizing the "principle of poverty"?
Most of us have been taught that all we have should be DEDICATED to God.
We have been taught that our money, house, cars, jobs, kids, stuff, hobbies, service to others, etc., should be dedicated to the Lord. That we should "give all we have to God." Then some good teachers add on, "It's all His anyway." It is all His and the other teaching about stuff is true as well.
But, this morning my Father corrected/redirected my thinking.
The widow gave out of her poverty. . . she knew poverty BEFORE she gave, not just after. She saw herself clearly as she came to the LAST OF HER RESOURCES.
The rich were rich because of: intelligence, strength, knowledge, good health, God's favor. . . Who knows. Take your pick.
What the rich gave was NOT small or bad, just of MUCH LESS VALUE than the one who gave out of her poverty.
Why were the gifts of the rich less valuable??
It seems that gifts were lesser/unacceptable because of our not understanding what we actually have to give to the Lord. The gift is just a picture of either our ignorance or possibly, understanding.
What do we have to give to the Lord? He doesn't ultimately value our intelligence (1 Cor 3:18-20). Our strength is worthless (Is 31: 1-3). Any knowledge we presume to have is misdirected at best (1 Cor 8:1-3). As far inordinate time spent on "the temple," we are ultimately only a quick vapor (James 4:14).
What have we of worth to give the Lord?? Nothing......not even two copper coins.
Nothing that comes from our surplus of self amounts to a valuable gift.....intelligence, strength, knowlede, ability.....ALL of that is surplus; it is giving from OUR wealth. Christ neither needs nor wants our gift of surplus SELF. . .
However, His desire is that we eventually give good gifts to him; a dowry if you will, that eminates from our realization of our total destitutional poverty. He desires that us, HIS CHURCH, His bride, be WIDOWED to our old self. . . that we come to Him poor and destitute realizing that we have NOTHING to give Him that is of worth.
He desires a widowed bride that begins marriage knowing that she is fully dependent on her husband to provide for her; to be her intelligence; to be her knowledge; to be her strength; to be her food; to be her covering; to give her love and the ability to love. He wants to be our All in all.
The PRINCIPLE OF POVERTY is that we are all destitute and unable to change our spiritual condition. There exists a very real, generational "cycle of poverty". Poverty begets poverty as it is constantly handed down from one generation to the next.
Why does God remind us to care for orphans and widows?? They were/are helpless, unprotected souls unable to change their physical/spiritual condition.
He graciously shows us ourselves as we truly are. . . wretched, poor, blind, weak, dumb. . . helpless and unprotected unable to change our spiritual condition.
He shows us these things typically through pain and hardship. He puts us in situations that are tougher than we are to break the cycle of spiritual poverty that we don't even realize we are living in. We don't see the depth of our poverty because we've never known any better/other way to live. We've never had even the idea that there is a better way to live!
There is a better way!!
He desires for us to be full. . . of Him alone. Then and only then will the gifts we give have VALUE.
Praise God for Him continually showing me the depth of my need for HIM - THE WIDOWMAKER.
As you probably know a widow-maker is generally termed, "anything dangerous to someone's life or health," i.e., when logging trees in a forest and a large limb falls near the workers the limb could be a widow-maker. Or, in medical terms a coronary artery with significant blockage can cause a massive heart attack and death. Basically, if a life or way of life is put in mortal danger by another force it, the force, could be termed a widow-maker.
I was reading in Luke this a.m. and came to Lk 21:1-4.
"And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury. And He saw a certain poor widow putting in two small copper coins. And He said, 'Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them; for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.'"
I may have seen it differently today.
I am wondering if it is more applicable to talk about the rich (most of us) as much as the poor widow.
--More applicable to talk about wealth vs. poverty. . . but not the wealth I usually think about!
--More applicable to consider surplus vs. a bare cabinet. . .but not physical surplus, not food in the larder.
So, what's the point?
When I've read about the widow,. . .
I have always thought, "Yeah, that's awesome. Lord, please let me always be willing to give my last two pennies for your service. Help me not to hold on to any possession more than I hold on to you!"
I leave that prayer feeling encouraged that I saw that possessions can be way too important and make me selfish and blind to my selfishness. EVERY physical thing I possess must be the Lord's. I don't even own my last two pennies. . .It's ALL HIS!!
Those are good thoughts. . . and true.
But, this morning Christ formed another question in my soul.
What is surplus? Is giving money from surplus money the real issue in this story? Is the story only about our physical stuff/heart to give or is it also about realizing the "principle of poverty"?
Most of us have been taught that all we have should be DEDICATED to God.
We have been taught that our money, house, cars, jobs, kids, stuff, hobbies, service to others, etc., should be dedicated to the Lord. That we should "give all we have to God." Then some good teachers add on, "It's all His anyway." It is all His and the other teaching about stuff is true as well.
But, this morning my Father corrected/redirected my thinking.
The widow gave out of her poverty. . . she knew poverty BEFORE she gave, not just after. She saw herself clearly as she came to the LAST OF HER RESOURCES.
The rich were rich because of: intelligence, strength, knowledge, good health, God's favor. . . Who knows. Take your pick.
What the rich gave was NOT small or bad, just of MUCH LESS VALUE than the one who gave out of her poverty.
Why were the gifts of the rich less valuable??
It seems that gifts were lesser/unacceptable because of our not understanding what we actually have to give to the Lord. The gift is just a picture of either our ignorance or possibly, understanding.
What do we have to give to the Lord? He doesn't ultimately value our intelligence (1 Cor 3:18-20). Our strength is worthless (Is 31: 1-3). Any knowledge we presume to have is misdirected at best (1 Cor 8:1-3). As far inordinate time spent on "the temple," we are ultimately only a quick vapor (James 4:14).
What have we of worth to give the Lord?? Nothing......not even two copper coins.
Nothing that comes from our surplus of self amounts to a valuable gift.....intelligence, strength, knowlede, ability.....ALL of that is surplus; it is giving from OUR wealth. Christ neither needs nor wants our gift of surplus SELF. . .
However, His desire is that we eventually give good gifts to him; a dowry if you will, that eminates from our realization of our total destitutional poverty. He desires that us, HIS CHURCH, His bride, be WIDOWED to our old self. . . that we come to Him poor and destitute realizing that we have NOTHING to give Him that is of worth.
He desires a widowed bride that begins marriage knowing that she is fully dependent on her husband to provide for her; to be her intelligence; to be her knowledge; to be her strength; to be her food; to be her covering; to give her love and the ability to love. He wants to be our All in all.
The PRINCIPLE OF POVERTY is that we are all destitute and unable to change our spiritual condition. There exists a very real, generational "cycle of poverty". Poverty begets poverty as it is constantly handed down from one generation to the next.
Why does God remind us to care for orphans and widows?? They were/are helpless, unprotected souls unable to change their physical/spiritual condition.
He graciously shows us ourselves as we truly are. . . wretched, poor, blind, weak, dumb. . . helpless and unprotected unable to change our spiritual condition.
He shows us these things typically through pain and hardship. He puts us in situations that are tougher than we are to break the cycle of spiritual poverty that we don't even realize we are living in. We don't see the depth of our poverty because we've never known any better/other way to live. We've never had even the idea that there is a better way to live!
There is a better way!!
He desires for us to be full. . . of Him alone. Then and only then will the gifts we give have VALUE.
Praise God for Him continually showing me the depth of my need for HIM - THE WIDOWMAKER.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Swing and a Miss
Whether it's baseball, boxing, or football they
all can make great analogies, but this ain't a game...this ain't baseball. It's
life. (Sorry to those with a differing predisposition). The miss for me is more
like a fighter aimlessly punching the air......I've heard that when you miss
big in a boxing match with an experienced fighter you often get smacked!!
I seem to have a slight preoccupation lately with pugilism. I think it's because I feel like I've missed big several times in life and it seems I'm getting tired of getting SMACKED!
DILEMMA: I am not interested in living a life that doesn't take a big swing once in a while, I don't enjoy the SMACKDOWN associated with the miss and I didn't ask anyone to make me this way. I also hate taking my family through my swings. It has started to make me hate me some days. . . So, how should I then live??
Yeah, yeah, yeah....wisdom, prudence, patience....none of my big swings come without much prayer and counsel. I nearly never take the first swing...:) I also sadly never stop looking for an opportunity to take a swing....sometimes a big one and sometimes just a jab...but I never stop looking...I didn't ask to be that way either, but I've always constantly looked for a new opportunity to try something new, to take a proverbial swing at it.
An aside--I am feeling right now like I should have used the baseball analogy. . . but only 'cause I don't want to offend your delicate sensitivities with the fighting analogies;)
BTW--Why don't we use the more graphic Scriptural analogies publicly? They are right there in God's HOLY Word for crying out loud!! I fear that we are alienating men on the trail because we speak publicly of only things delicate. I have commited to honesty, openly...so on we go...
I've got a cadre of potentially applicable Scripture. What's a sum-it-up answer??
I don't want generalization anymore! I want to KNOW the way you KNOW when you see a running back break free, who has glory in his eyes and is already doing his little endzone dance in his mind...and then SMACK!!...you belligerently close the hole he only thought he saw. SMACK!! That is a type of not knowing and knowing...He thought he knew freedom...He did KNOW he got hit...YOU KNOW who hit him!
Am I the LB or the RB??? I'm really not sure sometimes........
Maybe I should take up golf....
1 Corinthians 9:23-27
I seem to have a slight preoccupation lately with pugilism. I think it's because I feel like I've missed big several times in life and it seems I'm getting tired of getting SMACKED!
DILEMMA: I am not interested in living a life that doesn't take a big swing once in a while, I don't enjoy the SMACKDOWN associated with the miss and I didn't ask anyone to make me this way. I also hate taking my family through my swings. It has started to make me hate me some days. . . So, how should I then live??
Yeah, yeah, yeah....wisdom, prudence, patience....none of my big swings come without much prayer and counsel. I nearly never take the first swing...:) I also sadly never stop looking for an opportunity to take a swing....sometimes a big one and sometimes just a jab...but I never stop looking...I didn't ask to be that way either, but I've always constantly looked for a new opportunity to try something new, to take a proverbial swing at it.
An aside--I am feeling right now like I should have used the baseball analogy. . . but only 'cause I don't want to offend your delicate sensitivities with the fighting analogies;)
BTW--Why don't we use the more graphic Scriptural analogies publicly? They are right there in God's HOLY Word for crying out loud!! I fear that we are alienating men on the trail because we speak publicly of only things delicate. I have commited to honesty, openly...so on we go...
I've got a cadre of potentially applicable Scripture. What's a sum-it-up answer??
I don't want generalization anymore! I want to KNOW the way you KNOW when you see a running back break free, who has glory in his eyes and is already doing his little endzone dance in his mind...and then SMACK!!...you belligerently close the hole he only thought he saw. SMACK!! That is a type of not knowing and knowing...He thought he knew freedom...He did KNOW he got hit...YOU KNOW who hit him!
Am I the LB or the RB??? I'm really not sure sometimes........
Maybe I should take up golf....
1 Corinthians 9:23-27
Some of This Won't Be Pretty
I have committed to honesty, openly. . .
Some of this won't be pretty. . .
I am a man. I am not always comfortable with my feelings. I am NOT ashamed of my DIScomfort with baring my soul. . .of taking off the fig leaves if you will. It is very uncomfortable.
The Fall caused me to "need" covering. My Jesus wants intimacy with me again. He desires His bride. Intimacy with Him is as manly as it gets!!
Here's a litte TMI, if you will. . .
Life lately has been, well, interesting. Honestly, pretty difficult.
I won't bore you with details. But,. . .
I was thinking about what it means to truly know something or someone.
For instance, I know my wife and woohoo! I "know" my wife! Can I get an whooaahh! for Godly wives!?!
I know my kiddos, my friends and my pets. Each of these knowings is different.
I know how to "grow good ole tomatoes, make homemade wine, skin a buck deer and run a trot- line, plow a field all day long and catch catfish from dusk till dawn." Please forgive. I digress. . .
I can scout, shoot and scavenge. I know every deer path and swamp trail from
Point: We come to know things in lots of different ways.
This, though, is what the process of knowing Christ has felt like lately:
Still Standing
Here am I, staggering. . . battered and broken
Disoriented, not sure of who I am.
Listing to one side and then the other I am
Shattered in appearance, barely recognizable.
My soul, hammered. Bruising delivered by violence
Causes piercing pain in deep places I knew not.
Parts of me crushed that once were my strength.
Pieces of what once was, hanging by, raggedly.
Raw is my flesh and cloudy my mind like a
Fighter's perilously pummelled by a brutal foe.
Inside badly bruised my ribs, my kidneys
Outside, my face broken and bloody.
Wobbly and weak my legs barely hold me aright.
Exhausted, winded, each breath painfully purchased.
Arms too heavy to lift from fiercely fighting an unseen ememy my
Hands bruised, knuckles bulging and bloody. . .
Here am I, staggering. . . battered. . .
But, . . . I AM . . .still standing. . .
Thanks be to God!
Today I feel battered and broken. Hopefully, it is for my good and His Glory. I am encouraged by Phil 3:7-8 & 10-11:
But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ...that I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
In thinking about knowing Him--
--Am I mourning and moored in a past I can't change and that only God can redeem?
--Am I living in the difficult times of the past, shackled by the fear of future difficulty?
--Am I suffering the loss of all things rubbish, in order to gain Christ?
--Am I forgetting what lies behind and still reaching for what is ahead?
Am I cognizent of the fact that I am STILL STANDING?
My Christ says, "I AM!"
Honesty, openly. . .
Well, here goes. . .I don't Facebook, Tweet,
Instagram or whatever is the new thing or new way of communicating. . .for good
or bad. . . I haven't written many thoughts publicly. I usually don't see the
point. Though I appreciate greatly the academic life, I am no academition;
Though I love the Scriptures, I am not a "professional" theologian;
Though I love the business world, I am not a "successful"
businessman. . .Though I love my wife and children, I am not a "stand
out" husband or father. . .What could I possibly have to add to the
conversation?
The answer: little. But, maybe that's enough. Maybe my preoccupation with things too great or too wonderful keep me from contributing the things which might help one.
I am a lover(imperfectly)--of Christ, my wife, my children, and my fellow travellers on the trail. I appreciate deeply the beauty, order and design of creation. I love the pictures of God and Christ, the "sacraments of the created order," that God reveals through hard work, family life, joyful times, difficulty, gardening, hunting, fishing, busyness, stillness. . . the things of life. I have nothing to offer Him in return, and yet He blesses me continually with the knowledge of His presence in all things. . .
So, here's a thought. . .
I have become increasingly convinced that our culture of isolation is a big part of the reason that the universal church is generally having anemic impact. Over the last couple of generations, we the church, have moved away from honest, gut level, direct speak. We have exchanged speaking the truth-in-love for some PC way of communicating that only serves to isolate us further from the one-anothering to which we are called in the Scriptures. . .Thankfully, the Spirt is moving, and many are seeing the fallacy of the culture-infiltrated church. . . and doing something about it.
This is my attempt to not continue being a part of the problem. . .
The answer: little. But, maybe that's enough. Maybe my preoccupation with things too great or too wonderful keep me from contributing the things which might help one.
I am a lover(imperfectly)--of Christ, my wife, my children, and my fellow travellers on the trail. I appreciate deeply the beauty, order and design of creation. I love the pictures of God and Christ, the "sacraments of the created order," that God reveals through hard work, family life, joyful times, difficulty, gardening, hunting, fishing, busyness, stillness. . . the things of life. I have nothing to offer Him in return, and yet He blesses me continually with the knowledge of His presence in all things. . .
So, here's a thought. . .
I have become increasingly convinced that our culture of isolation is a big part of the reason that the universal church is generally having anemic impact. Over the last couple of generations, we the church, have moved away from honest, gut level, direct speak. We have exchanged speaking the truth-in-love for some PC way of communicating that only serves to isolate us further from the one-anothering to which we are called in the Scriptures. . .Thankfully, the Spirt is moving, and many are seeing the fallacy of the culture-infiltrated church. . . and doing something about it.
This is my attempt to not continue being a part of the problem. . .
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